Things are really looking up at the moment. My balance is restored, and I feel inspired and creative all the time. S'agapo moromu, you make my world complete.

I have a new job, 3 days a week cleaning caravans in a holiday park. Its enough to keep me going, and not too much that I don't feel able to do art or socialise in the interim. Its not the best job in the world, but to me its just right. Now I have it, I can feel a bit more financially stable, and more able to support my art self in all its endeavours.

I'm excited, this feels like the beginning of a new chapter in my life, and I can't wait to see where it goes.

Thats what they say... and I should have been more careful. As a young artist I longed for the darker side of things, the inspirations, the shock factor. I wanted people to admire my artwork... and to fear it. What makes good art work is not just the skill involved, but the subject matter. You have to evoke emotions in the viewer, give them something to look at which makes them think, maybe even question themselves. It could disgust them. It could remind them of love. It could sing of their dreams. It could frighten them. It could fight for a cause which they themselves feel passionate about. They could lust over it.

Through my teenage years I went for fear, disgust, and sex... the easiest and in my opinion, lowest forms. I would draw a bloody skull with its eye being ripped out by a crow. I would draw death on the river styx with souls grabbing desperately at his cloak. I would draw mermaids with their breasts exposed, naked angels, anthropomorphic creatures that made the viewer feel disgusted at themselves for lusting over. And I would hang on the apron strings of popular culture, drawing dragons and getting people to commission me to draw anything they wanted. I was an art prostitute.

When I showed my work to tutors, they advised that I avoid the popular subject matter, but I never understood why. I thought, if I enjoy doing it, and everyone else seems to enjoy me doing it, then why stop? But I had it drummed into me so much, that it put me off drawing altogether. I left art for a long time. I thought that their advice must be sound... but I lacked the inspiration to find other subjects to fill the gap. My fuel for being creative was the admiration of others. I lived only to impress... but now I felt stunted by my tutors words.

Now that I have returned, my fuel tank refilled, I find myself avoiding relying on that same brand. I paint to impress with my skill. Wildlife, making sure its pretty so that people like it. I have another fuel too... the need to earn money. I draw to earn, to impress each and every customer. But there is something else. An awareness... that these things don't inspire me. If there is no real subject to the picture, if its there just to be pretty, I feel like I'm an image making machine. I'm just a camera. I want to create works that push my boundaries, and those of the public. That have emotion, and are not just there for decoration. Where there's a will, there's a way... so watch this space, I'm going for gold. Wish me luck!

I think

this

should be read by as many people as possible. A fantastic artist has been having her work stolen by fakers and wannabes, but its not just her, the thievery is rife all over the art community. I think we need to help each other, help stop it happening. Spread awareness by linking to her journal, and keeping an eye out for stolen pieces.

Together we can make a difference,

Thank you for your time,

~Tanya

Hi everybody!

Just to let you know I finally got round to setting up my website, please do have a visit [link]